Tag: Winning The Lottery With Nicolas Cage
-
#79: Dog Eat Dog (2016)
My name is Ed and I have cursed myself to watch the films of Nicolas Cage until either he dies, I die, or I win the lottery by choosing numbers based on the films. Director Paul Schrader has worked with Cage twice before: he wrote Bringing Out The Dead (along with more famous Scorsese films…
-
#78: USS Indianapolis: Men of Courage (2016)
Playing the lottery is, generally speaking, an extremely bad way to make money — the statistically expected return is less than £1, for a £2 ticket. But the lottery works as a money-maker for the organisers because even though I rationally understand that, when I started purchasing tickets some particularly deluded part of my brain…
-
#77: Snowden (2016)
In May 2013 Edward Joseph Snowden walked out of a National Security Agency facility in Hawaii with thousands of classified documents, and, after fleeing the country, released them to the public. A heroic act, or a traitorous one, depending on your point of view. In January 2016 Edward Hart Jefferson decided to win the lottery…
-
#83: Inconceivable (2017)
My name is Ed, and I am going to win the lottery by picking numbers based on every film Nicolas Cage has ever made, for some reason. This week I watched Inconceivable, which is about Nicolas Cage and Gina Gershon being unable to make a baby due to problems! They decided to pay Nicky Whelan…
-
#76: The Trust (2016)
My name is Ed, and since January I have been watching every film Nicolas Cage has ever made. Also two TV shows and a piece of avant-garde musical theatre that he was in. I have been doing this in order to win the UK National Lottery, because I believe that Nic Cage’s ‘nouveau shamanic’ acting…
-
#75: Pay The Ghost (2015)
My name is Ed, and soon I will be able to tell you about any film that Nicolas Cage has ever been in. But I won’t talk to you, because you’re probably a schlub and I will soon be a millionaire, for after I watch a Nicolas Cage movie, I play the lottery. There is…
-
#74: The Runner (2015)
My name is Ed and when I have seen all the Nicolas Cage films I expect I will be invited to become a professor of cinema at a prestigious university. But I will turn down this invitation, because I will be a rich millionaire thanks to having used one of those films to win the…
-
#73: Dying Of The Light (2014)
My name is Ed and I must win the lottery so that I can buy a ticket for Elon Musk’s rocket ship to Mars and escape the crumbling hellhole that used be called the Earth. Because the odds of winning the lottery are quite low, I have decided to increase my chances by picking the…
-
#72: Left Behind (2014)
My name is Ed and I will soon have seen every film Nicolas Cage has ever made. I will also be a millionaire, because every time I watch one of the films, I pick 6 numbers and use them to enter the UK National Lottery. There is no way that this plan cannot succeed. Christianity,…
-
#71: Outcast (2014)
My name is Ed and I need to win the lottery because the sum total of my worldly wealth is £9.98 in change plus some foreign coins and a coin shaped token from commemorating some event I attended in 2012. Have you seen the price of the own brand Tesco lager these days? This no…