Category: Film
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#58: The Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans (2009)
My name is Ed, and I am attempting to learn the fundamental truth behind everything by watching every Nicolas Cage film in order. At the very least, I intend to win the UK National Lottery by entering using a set of numbers based on each and every film. New Orleans has not had that great…
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#59: Kick-Ass (2010)
My name is Ed, and my superpower is that I can watch a Nicolas Cage movie, use it to pick six numbers, and enter the UK National Lottery. You may say that anyone can do this, and so it is not a superpower. But if that’s true, why am I the only person who does…
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#57: Astro Boy (2009)
My name is Ed and I going to win the lottery by watching films with Nicolas Cage in them. I am. I just am, alright? After G-Force, Astro Boy makes two animated versions of Nicolas Cage in one week! And this time he’s playing a human man instead of a mole — the father of…
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#56: G-Force (2009)
My name is Ed and I live in a formless void surrounded by Nicolas Cage films and lottery tickets. One day I will pick 6 numbers from a Nicolas Cage film use them to buy a winning lottery ticket, and then a word will be spoken. I don’t have a child, otherwise, I’d make it…
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#55: Knowing (2009)
My name is Ed and I dug up a time capsule and found instructions telling me to play the lottery using numbers from each and every film starring Nicolas Cage. If I do this, I will save the world, and hopefully win the lottery. There’s a thing you get with high concept Hollywood science fiction…
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#54: Bangkok Dangerous (2008)
My name is Ed and I have watched 53 Nicolas Cage films and entered the lottery 53 times and I have never killed anyone not even one person I swear. Bangkok Dangerous is the Pang Brothers’ own remake of their 1999 debut, a Thai thriller about a deaf-mute hitman. In the retooled US version, Cage…
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#53: National Treasure: Book Of Secrets (2007)
My name is Ed and I am trying to win the lottery by watching Nicolas Cage films. Maybe watching all of Nicolas Cage’s films in order is the secret to transcending spacetime and leaving behind the human meatform to become one with the Godhead, but if not I would be happy with a few million…
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#52: Next (2007)
My name is Ed and everything is extremely bad. To fix it I have decided to watch all the Nicolas Cage films in order and use each film to pick numbers to play with in the UK National Lottery. At least then I will be able to wear some expensive trousers while the world burns.…
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#51: Werewolf Women of the SS (2007)
My name is Ed and I am watching everything Nicolas Cage has ever done in order. I am doing this so that I will win the National Lottery. Join me in hell. Werewolf Women of the SS is a trailer for a film that doesn’t exist — one of several released as part of Grindhouse,…
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#50: Ghost Rider (2007)
My name is Ed and I have played the National Lottery 49 times, each time picking the numbers using a different Nicolas Cage film. So far, this has failed to win me the lottery, but who thinks they can win the lottery by watching 49 Nicolas Cage films? A fool, that’s who. So, number 50:…