Film reviews of films

My review of The Third Man

The Third Man is one of those films from when they made them in black and white in order to make them seem classy, but I think that’s just stupid as it’s hard to tell the people apart because you can’t see if they’re wearing a different coloured jumper or whatever.

This guy sells tyres with meningitis because of World War II or something.

As if that wasn’t confusing enough the main character is called Holly which a girl’s name even though the main character is not a girl. I did some research and found out that the director of this film was called Carol which is a girl’s name even though the director is not a girl. I don’t watch a film to see a director deal with personal issues! I watch it to see action and sometimes kissing!

Anyway it had a complicated plot: Orson Welles is dead but then he is not dead really he just had to pretend so he could get a free ride on a big wheel and then he is really dead after all. To be honest I’m not sure I 100% understood it, but that’s the gist.

My best thing in the film was when the funny army man punched the man with a girl’s name but then Orson Welles ends up shooting the funny army man to death which is a bit off as he didn’t even know the army man had punched the man with a girl’s name who he didn’t even seem to like that much anyway.

The worst thing about this film is how the camera man kept setting up the camera all wonky. I assume they must have made this quickly and didn’t have time to re-film it but I’d have thought you could cut out the squares of film and stick them back together wonky the opposite way so it would come back normal. Lazy.

This film is a bit pretentious and nothing exploded. 5/10.

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